In past online life, I ran a little celebrity fashion blog and the spirit of Harsh Light of Day is with me tonight as I dust off the old judgemental fingers and take a peek at those on red carpets today.
Damn! You can thank me later.
The couple that photo bombs together, stays together
Welcome Mr and Mrs Ambassador's to Canada or Denmark or Japan or any other country that is red and white.
Do you think everyone at the after parties just stares at her and whispers behind their Sav Blancs 'there is the crazy, pretended for a bit lesbian that broke Ellen's heart?'
The more I saw, the more I liked. I was far more concerned with the lack of Dancy by her side but when she thanked him in her acceptance speech, I was put at ease - thanks Claire. PS Homeland = awesome.
Damn! You can thank me later.
Damn Mr Darcy! You can thank me later.
I LOVE YOU! It's now reaching in-appropriate levels of girl-crush with Emma and I think she may re-think a visit to this country based on my love alone. Sorry everyone for ruining it for us.
And here is the C grade wannabe desperate for the limelight. This dress won't attract any attention at all.
Damn! You can thank me later.
Oh George you hilarious man you! You are a block of charm, air quotes and raised eyes Bachelor-hood delight.
Damn Hamm! You can thank me later.
Damn Uncle Jesse! You can thank me later.
And now begin discussing are they now dating? Is the hand too loose and therefore not affectionate enough or is it a decoy limp hand? Is her demure face being coy with a secret or HEY REPORTERS I HAVE A SECRET!
See, look everyone, I'm totally fine, all good, very normal now. Life is A-OK and I am back on track, seriously, everyone I am. Please hire me, I promise, I'll be good, I won't steal anything and I totally come to work, I swear. I am on the complete straight and narrow, the up and up. I am good to go! Please, insurance companies will come around, they will and remember how WAY back when I was a good actress, like WAY back when. Wait, don't go, please listen, Robert Downey Jnr, you like him now, come on!
You know you're the hottest fella in the room when Clooney is congratulating you in an acceptance speech and letting the world know you're rocking a big penis. Also - DAMN MAGNETO! You can totally thank me later.
The dress is awful but Miranda, you bought along Legolas so I'll give you a pass.
Love it. She has totally sorted herself out and made having a jewellery line not a just a celebrity tax evasion scheme but an actually thing.
I don't think she'll ever recover from the show stopping, amazing, eff you Ryan Phillippe canary yellow cocktail dress of awesome a few years ago. This certainly isn't helping.
This is going to shock the hell out of some people but I really like this. Especially after the SEA of nudes, bieges and tan dresses that were all identical. And SMG is looking happy and smiling and just pleased to be out and about as opposed to sad sack Dicaprio or Wiig or the many other poutters who looked as if they were being dragged to a slaughter house and not a fully catered for, industry piss up with gift bags and limos.
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