Offspring Season Six: It's Back and so am I...sort of

Offspring Season 5: How Do You Solve the Patrick Problem?

First admission, I haven't watched a single episode live - my Wednesday nights are officially shocking for any live watching. But I have watched all three episode on catch up, and really, oh what a tangled web we weave!

My GhostDaddy is hotter than your real Daddy

The shadow of Patrick is long and mighty that's for sure. After the reaction heard around Australia last year, I wonder, truly, did the writers ever regret their decision? I can't wait for this to be answered in 5 years time with hindsight and honesty. And really, for a few days the departure of Matt Le Nevez was over analysed to death (boom tish!). Still, after months of no Nina, Patrick, Proudman activity, the sting still lingered. And after these three episode, that sting still remains and maybe even tingles more.

The show has gone to great lengths in an attempt to redeem themselves by giving us vintage Patrick in his Top Most Requested Patrick-esque forms. We've had sexy snarky jealous Ghost Patrick, who made me smile with his third wheel date behaviour when Nina sat down with Laurence for a coffee. We've had Broody Ghost Patrick, who walked away from being in a weird paranormal threesome with Nina and Mina (Male Nina - so clearly a cipher for her). We've had Sex It Up Ghost Patrick, who transported himself through actual heaven to help Nina have an orgasm. We've had OMG Parent Patrick, who held Zoe whilst walking in a dappling Melbourne sun filled park and caused the viewers ovaries to explode. Basically, with all this Ghost Patrick someone needs to call Jennifer Love Hewitt pronto and get Patrick passed over!

The problem for the show, is they're still giving us Patrick. If you going to be brave and bold and take the leap to kill him, then follow through. Because right now, his absence is louder than Nina's presence and it's really hurting her as a character. What's left of the Nina behind is still a relatively okay character but with Ghost Patrick in all sexy forms still lingering, she is defined by him. And when he's not spooking in and out, Nina slips into Season 1 great annoyance Nina, she of the babbling, professionally questionable and all around stuttering mess.

I will however give great applause, to potentially one of my favourite scenes the show has ever done. Nina's discussion with her ex-husband (remember him?!) when she actually confessed to Patrick's passing was so well done. From script, to shots, to the acting itself - it was glorious.  It was funny and heartbreaking and the reason I still check into Offspring - for those moments of grounded reality, touched by pathos.

The sideline stuff is the usual array of sublime to stupid insanity. Thankfully we've dialed right back on Geraldine and all her  nonsense and focused of the Proudman siblings. Jimmy, continues to earn his name back, with his childlike wonder mixed with his ability to break Zara and being positive and hopeful while those around him crumble.

After the horrific cheating, life downward spiral plot that gave Kat Stewart a great show reel - Billie seems back on track as a character. Her awkward Laurence non-dating, mixed with that truly sad break up Skype call with Mick (Eddie Perfect, you're a monster! A talented, puppy dog eyes of sadness monster!) was sublime and I will be interested to see how the show plays Billie moving forward.

But really, the show, much like Kate Middleton was when she had a break from Prince Will for a while, was always asked about that person - can't escape Patrick. In making him the headline banner act, they've committed themselves to him be woven into the DNA. The problem for me is that instead of slowly loosening the threads of Patrick's presence, they're tightening them and cementing Nina's one true pairing (OTP - for the kids!) status to Patrick. Sure, in real life, death sadly happens and people can, do and should move on but in a serialised rom-com drama - where time jumps don't time jump an audiences memories further back - the ability to create the distance starts with actual distance. For Nina, for the show - it needs it. For my slight (who am I kidding, massive!) Matt Le Nevez crush and enjoyment factor of seeing him on this TV show, it's horrible.

But enough from me? What are your thoughts on Season 5 and how would you solve (or not) the Patrick Problem?

Yep, Patrick is Still Dead but The Baby is Cute

Time has not changed the past and Patrick Reid remains dead by tiny Corolla bump. During Puberty Blues they sneak peeked at the first scene of Season 5.


And while I'm still on the fence about if and when I'll recap this last season, I gotta admit I enjoyed this teaser. Tonally it felt more reverentially to Patrick's character than anything else before it. It played well the Proudman family connection that they all have and it was moving. And DAMN that baby is CUTE! Patrick's offspring (so intended) certainly is a good one.

I still am concerned that a show that had it's viewers invest so much in Nina's love story, is going to give us a rushed happily ever after with a new dude. Nina as a character was never better than when Patrick was there to balance her out and I'm still concerned that she'll return to zany, Proudman hijinks without the grounding that a tragic event such as this would give the character. Time will tell and with the months of interesting interviews and producers calls for calm, you have to wonder, if the show can't recover - will Matt Le Nevez be smirking somewhat proudly to himself?

We Need More Room to Talk

As requested via Twitter (the best place to find me) from the lovely Anne Wright - a new post, so the comments section wasn't so overloaded.

I promise I haven't fully deserted you or The Offspring story but a sad reality is my job is content creation and output. Which basically means when I get home (sometimes quite late), my brain needs to watch The Bachelor and enjoy Tim's wooden attempts at romance instead of sitting at another computer and creating more things.

But as I can tell from the comments section, you lovely ladies don't need me to have a good and lively time.

The Patrick Reid Alternative

As promised, my attempt at Offspring fan-fiction.And now it's super scary to post this because isn't it easy to be super critical lady who can pick characterisation flaws from a distance.

I will admit it came out a lot more angsty than I'd planned, also, this story does continue and bring in other Proudmans and sort of continue the flash back momentum - if people are interested, I'll keep going.

In the meantime, enjoy ALIVE PATRICK, behind the link.

PHEW! It's been a BIG week

So, no last minute dream sequences and not the biggest fake out on Australian TV could save the dear Broody Doc. The week long who wanted to leave, and what was best for the story PR run further complicated the matter of why Patrick Reid had to die and for me what was a very tonally abrupt season finale left me with no better answers.

In fact, the finale was basically in a nutshell, all the problems of Season Four. Moments of sheer amazing character moments and questions of adulthood and sibling rivalry and complex families with consequences. However, these were matched with oddly placed physical comedy, over the top Asher Keddie Nina-isms. Character abuse of Clegg and thereby Lachy Hulme. And sheer un-ability to grasp Patrick as anything beyond his romantic lead status, either broody removed non-partner, or swoony, sister rescuing hero.

Let's resurrect swoon time!

BUT enough talk, as I've seen in the comments section, everyone wants to rewrite the last two episodes - offering some very good ideas. I've stayed quiet on this because, I have actually started something on this very subject. I wasn't going to post it and actually deleted the first draft but hey, it's probably good for my writing brain to keep moving, so I'm going to take a shot at a Patrick and Nina story. I may take great liberties at re-writing the characters the way I want to but hey, that's my choice. Hopefully, I'll have something to post at 8.30 on Wednesday night - Offspring time! And we'll see how it goes from there.

Fan-fiction for the win!

Offspring: Patrick's Dead and Possibly Some Fans Trust

Offspring have been dying (pun sort of, and then upon reflection, very much so, intended) for a watercooler moment. You know, that moment that gets Twitter trends, Facebook post headlines and the following morning commercial radio buzzing. Of course to get the headline, you gotta make some big moves - and really the only way possible is either births, death or marriage.

Hey it's me, calling from heaven, do you know they have a Volvo dealership?

Sadly many fans had the birth of Broody Bub (which now really will have something to be broody about) as that possible moment this season. The came Network Ten with their almost gleeful promos of death. 'SOMEONE NINA LOVES WILL DIE!' From the interview the producers/writers have done over the past few days, they haven't been shy about their feelings on these promos. They HATED them, thought they gave away the shock of the whole thing and ruined what was supposed to be a surprise. Not to be rude, but Offspring, while your demo numbers in the ratings are okay, your overall numbers are setting the world on fire, so of course the promo department wanted people to watch this episode instead of hearing about it second hand from the super keen fans and dismissing it, because awwh well, they've heard the plot now. I have no sympathy for the Producers on that note.

Good luck finding a Broody Abs replacement for me

Onto the big questions though: why? And no, not the mortality of life question, but actually, my immediate thought when watching the episode why? Because as many people have commented in the reaction post why was this plot device necessary? Why did the writers feel they'd boxed Patrick into a happy, non-broody dead end corner? Why did Matt Le Nevez (or his US agent) want so badly out of the role that made him an Australian household name? Why couldn't they come up with a more flexible story line - hell Billie was stuck in New Zealand for HALF A DAMN SEASON? 

I was building things, with my bare hands - yeah, top that!

In discussing this with other people, off the top of my head, we had two or three plots that could have meant diminished screen time yet NO DEATH. 1) When structuring this season, why not have sister Kate fall back in a negative behavior pattern with her ex-abusive partner and Patrick has take Kate back to Perth to testify at some sort of legal case thing against him 2) With the return of Little Intern could Patrick have maybe relapsed in and ended up in rehab - and don't use the excuse of happy people don't relapse, Keith Urban was fresh off his honeymoon when he checked into Betty Ford 3) Because of Nina's health scare, Patrick fears the worst so starts pulling away and attending all sorts of overseas medical conferences and 4) THEY DIDN'T KILL GEORGE CLOONEY ON ER! Carol Hathaway was allowed to work her shit out and then, when realised life was more important, raced to (surprise return cameo) George's side with her twin girls. 

Sunshine through the clouds - my smile, gone to big Broody Hospital in the Sky with me!

I think the rage most regular fans felt is completely justified. Patrick as a character was firmly established as man who had lost so much and this new life, his life with Nina, was almost a redemption story. Well, what a shitty crap redemption because the moment he glimpses contentment, yank! No sir. Seriously, if I was Patrick arriving at the pearly gates (hopefully with my full head of broody hair restored and not sporting a brain surgery hair cut), I'd be all up God's business about how ripped off I'd been - not even getting to glimpse my own kid. 

Sexy broody phone calls, this look is an artform people

Seriously though, how do we go forward from here? Obviously next week's episode will be a tear fest doozy. But even if we time jump into Season Five, will viewers accept a new love interest for Nina? And sure, it shouldn't only be about Nina's love life, she could go all Carrie Bradshaw and have the most important relationship with herself but the problem with both those scenarios - Carrie Bradshaw said this, then immediately received a call from her man and the entire series was geared around Nina's love life. The producers/writers themselves call it a romantic comedy. Could any really step into those shoes and win over not only Nina's heart, but also the audience who were told, directed and instructed to invest in Nina and Patrick. Interestingly the writers were asked if Chris Havel might re-appear (sadly no-one asked if this reappearance would happen on a balcony) and they ummed about it but in the end pretty much said no, this wasn't a great idea. 

Hallway hanky panky - my man hands are hard to replace

Whatever happens post Season 4's finale, I wish them luck but like many, this Patrick stunt, and let's be honest, part of it was that - a stunt pure and simple - has turned me off. I was already regressing to Season 1 style watching patterns with vague interest at best but now, I might check in, I might watch the promos, but recapping, in-depth analysis - I'm going to hand in my resignation on that one (Don't worry though, I'll still give you all a place to chat should you need to cover episodes in a non-Facebook/Tumblr fan-girl way). 

My season two, sexy pick me, not Havel, face. Gone forever!

Offspring: They Just Molly-ed Patrick Reid

Like Molly on A Country Practice, Shane on Home and Away and countless Aussie soaps, when all is going well - we must KILL CHARACTERS needlessly.

Go forth and discuss! I'll come back with my thoughts later.

Heading to the sexy smouldering hospital in the sky.

Offspring Recap: Talk Amongst Yoursevles

Ladies, sorry but beaches and books and banana lounges and Breezers (not really, but I was working a whole B theme) are calling my name.

I'm in the midst of a back to back work two week marathon session which I'm then following up with a Bali holiday of radio silence. Which means, no Offspring recaps. With last night's episode still yet to be seen and next week's definitely getting missed, I'm handing over the keys and letting you all taking care of the analysis, intense character study and important growth discussions. Just clean up any wild parties you decide to have while I'm gone.

Offspring Recap: The Reverse Triangle

This week, I watched Offspring a little differently. I went old school, turned off all electronic devices (excluding the TV of course) and watched without Twitter commentary, without note taking for my recaps and without texts to family members. Honestly, it didn't forever change my past opinions, but it did give the characters a chance to breathe, the plots felt a little stronger and the beats more deserved. If that was because the episode itself was stronger (I think it was) over the electronic cynical distraction that is modern TV watching, I'll never really know. Either way, enough pondering, let's break it down.

The Patrick/Nina/Little Intern Triangle

During the first 15 minutes I truly despaired as we watched Nina, Billie and Patrick awkwardly and well over the bounds of professional care and conduct, attempt to decipher Little Intern's crush. Seriously though, Little Intern has a mega sexual harassment case on her hands should she chose to spin it. Dinner with teenage immature inquisitions and more flighty Nina was however quickly booted when Little Intern stepped up and said, you dear Nina are the desire of my heart. (Sorry Nina, but really?)

We are SO FAR past appropriate. Pecan pie go with that?

After taking a moment or two to enjoy her crush status, including quite an entertaining Nina-fantasy of what lesbian love affairs are. According to Nina's it's a chocolate ad, mixed with 1980's tampon commercial and directed by Peter Weir circa Picnic at Hanging Rock.

Picnic at Hanging Rock 2: We're Going to Need a Bigger Boat

After Little Intern couldn't face the stuttering awkwardness and went home, with text messages threats of transferring Nina came a knocking. Bearing consoling stories of her Chris Havel crush (memories!) Nina tried to ease Little Intern's pain. Aside from the pointless but isn't this funny wink hamster stuff, Nina did an okay job of trying to help Little Intern and I give her credit.

The Clegg Meltdown

I've loved the character of Martin Clegg, for his sheer unusual-ness that wasn't too gag-fest related. His involvement with Cherie has always been problematic because it never quite gelled, and so while I get what they're aiming for with his meltdown and I applaud Lachy Hulme's commitment, I couldn't quite get their with his devastation because I just didn't feel.

If I stare long enough, maybe I'll solve the WTF was Cherie's problem, problem?

For a man, that above all else valued his professional career, to completely shut down in the operating theatre was a step too far and making the analogy of Patrick's drug habit was silly. It felt like a case of writing the dialogue for the tattoo parlor reunion first and then working backward to get both characters there. That being said, I do enjoy Clegg and Patrick's friendship and I think it's quite moments are great. And sure the manufactured efforts to get Clegg to break annoyed, the tattoo parlor conversation was beautiful and the moment in which both men remembered or experienced rock bottom was a nice touch.

Bitches be crazy. Bro's before hos right Reid.

My absolute favourite scene, maybe of the entire season so far, was the closing with Patrick and Nina joyful hearing their child's first kicks and Martin Clegg politely declining a threesome. It was laugh out loud funny and sweet and tender at the same time. This is right here is why I love Offspring.

Nina and Patrick: Happy, together. It's a MIRACLE!

Smoke and Mirrors Billie

From powerful couple, to secrets and lies. Billie is on the surface swimming along with her fantastic career, her pop star husband and interviews with the Sunday papers. (PS Mick, I know those Q&A's are tedious but some poor music publicist has called five times to get that Q&A into the schedule - answer the damn toilet paper question). Underneath though, it's slowly starting to slip away, bills are not being paid, people are dying or just not buying property. As per Billie's style, though she is choosing for the moment, to surface over it and pretend to everyone including Mick that life is fine. Next week, though hints at it all crashing down. This seems interesting, real and grounded and I'm thrilled for every character involved!

Who the F*** ordered all that stuff from ASOS?

Selfish Proudman

The only other note is that Mama Proudman continues her EPIC run of selfishness and rags on Jimmy's efforts to grow up. At this point I want to vote her off the show and let Bio Dad Phillip run the family. It annoys me that everyone allows her barbs to sit there without actually addressing them. The foreshadowing that this behaviour could be health related doesn't make me happy either because really, Geraldine's been 90% like this from day one!

She has Sav Blanc-itis. Symptoms include selfishness, running off your mouth

Next week Billie's house of cards looks to come crashing down and will give Kat Stewart and Eddie Perfect some big acting moments. Maybe Mick could write a financial recovery ballad to help us through!