Offspring Recap: The Reverse Triangle

This week, I watched Offspring a little differently. I went old school, turned off all electronic devices (excluding the TV of course) and watched without Twitter commentary, without note taking for my recaps and without texts to family members. Honestly, it didn't forever change my past opinions, but it did give the characters a chance to breathe, the plots felt a little stronger and the beats more deserved. If that was because the episode itself was stronger (I think it was) over the electronic cynical distraction that is modern TV watching, I'll never really know. Either way, enough pondering, let's break it down.

The Patrick/Nina/Little Intern Triangle

During the first 15 minutes I truly despaired as we watched Nina, Billie and Patrick awkwardly and well over the bounds of professional care and conduct, attempt to decipher Little Intern's crush. Seriously though, Little Intern has a mega sexual harassment case on her hands should she chose to spin it. Dinner with teenage immature inquisitions and more flighty Nina was however quickly booted when Little Intern stepped up and said, you dear Nina are the desire of my heart. (Sorry Nina, but really?)

We are SO FAR past appropriate. Pecan pie go with that?

After taking a moment or two to enjoy her crush status, including quite an entertaining Nina-fantasy of what lesbian love affairs are. According to Nina's it's a chocolate ad, mixed with 1980's tampon commercial and directed by Peter Weir circa Picnic at Hanging Rock.

Picnic at Hanging Rock 2: We're Going to Need a Bigger Boat

After Little Intern couldn't face the stuttering awkwardness and went home, with text messages threats of transferring Nina came a knocking. Bearing consoling stories of her Chris Havel crush (memories!) Nina tried to ease Little Intern's pain. Aside from the pointless but isn't this funny wink hamster stuff, Nina did an okay job of trying to help Little Intern and I give her credit.

The Clegg Meltdown

I've loved the character of Martin Clegg, for his sheer unusual-ness that wasn't too gag-fest related. His involvement with Cherie has always been problematic because it never quite gelled, and so while I get what they're aiming for with his meltdown and I applaud Lachy Hulme's commitment, I couldn't quite get their with his devastation because I just didn't feel.

If I stare long enough, maybe I'll solve the WTF was Cherie's problem, problem?

For a man, that above all else valued his professional career, to completely shut down in the operating theatre was a step too far and making the analogy of Patrick's drug habit was silly. It felt like a case of writing the dialogue for the tattoo parlor reunion first and then working backward to get both characters there. That being said, I do enjoy Clegg and Patrick's friendship and I think it's quite moments are great. And sure the manufactured efforts to get Clegg to break annoyed, the tattoo parlor conversation was beautiful and the moment in which both men remembered or experienced rock bottom was a nice touch.

Bitches be crazy. Bro's before hos right Reid.

My absolute favourite scene, maybe of the entire season so far, was the closing with Patrick and Nina joyful hearing their child's first kicks and Martin Clegg politely declining a threesome. It was laugh out loud funny and sweet and tender at the same time. This is right here is why I love Offspring.

Nina and Patrick: Happy, together. It's a MIRACLE!

Smoke and Mirrors Billie

From powerful couple, to secrets and lies. Billie is on the surface swimming along with her fantastic career, her pop star husband and interviews with the Sunday papers. (PS Mick, I know those Q&A's are tedious but some poor music publicist has called five times to get that Q&A into the schedule - answer the damn toilet paper question). Underneath though, it's slowly starting to slip away, bills are not being paid, people are dying or just not buying property. As per Billie's style, though she is choosing for the moment, to surface over it and pretend to everyone including Mick that life is fine. Next week, though hints at it all crashing down. This seems interesting, real and grounded and I'm thrilled for every character involved!

Who the F*** ordered all that stuff from ASOS?

Selfish Proudman

The only other note is that Mama Proudman continues her EPIC run of selfishness and rags on Jimmy's efforts to grow up. At this point I want to vote her off the show and let Bio Dad Phillip run the family. It annoys me that everyone allows her barbs to sit there without actually addressing them. The foreshadowing that this behaviour could be health related doesn't make me happy either because really, Geraldine's been 90% like this from day one!

She has Sav Blanc-itis. Symptoms include selfishness, running off your mouth

Next week Billie's house of cards looks to come crashing down and will give Kat Stewart and Eddie Perfect some big acting moments. Maybe Mick could write a financial recovery ballad to help us through!