Offspring Recap: In Which Nina and I Have Words

It’s not looking good Offspring, let’s get that out there right now. Firstly, when you’re compelling and interesting, I cancel plans to watch and recap you. When you’re drifting – as in Season One – I’ll accept an invitation to just about anything.  Sadly, it looks like we’re heading down Season One road again, so this recap is going to be a little different. Less what happened and more what in the hell is going on right now – I won’t be offended if the less cynical (and God sometimes I wish I was) headed to happier, more positive pastures.

The good news first: shirtless Patrick is still PHWOAR

Okay, what in the hell is going on! Seriously, Nina Proudman you are the most scatty illogical, dependent person. This entire episode seemed to revel in your ditzy behaviour. How endearing the stuttered speech patterns were, the physical hijinks, the blatantly stupid ways to entertain  a toddler. The horrible scene in which she confronted Little Intern and waved her arms as if she was a mute trying to express herself, was neither endearing nor funny. It simply made me wonder how a grown woman, who the show claims to have a professional career is able to function when she can barely walk down the street without overt physical expressiveness bordering on mania.

What this episode sadly made me think about – and not in a good way – is what exactly do you and Patrick, besides hotness and inner city coolness, and professional vocation – have in common. Seriously, I’ve never seen Nina and Patrick, with sex removed, really enjoy each other. I understand we’ve been buried in angsty town for a few seasons but right now, I’m really struggling to understand what Patrick sees in Nina aside from the fact she is carrying his child. What this also does, is drag Patrick down into this behaviour. For someone who has taken great strides in growth and evolution, his insensitivity to Nina about his night out with Little Intern was staggering. He knows she is a nutcase, would stew ridiculously if he was 20 minutes late and by choosing to be with her, chooses this relationship structure. SO FREAKING CALL the poor woman and say, 'Hey, taking longer than I thought, don’t worry, I’m okay, I’ll be home soon, love you etc'. Not hard to do, and I resented him for not doing it.

The whole Little Intern thing is a bit of a missed opportunity for me right now as we seem to be back to bringing up danger Patrick to illicit danger without punishing the character in the present. They don’t want him to be currently flawed, only have viewers remember the hint it’s there. And the continuity regarding drinking continues to frustrate me. Season Two Patrick had no problems with a glass. I’m fine if Patrick feels that drinking does open him up to demons, but the story has to convey his decision to change somehow. Whether the viewers see him speaking independently with the counsellor man, and talking about his evolution or to another character – we need to know he’s not just flipping a switch and being a douchebag.

And don’t even get me going about the Cherie character. I have no patience, sympathy, tolerance or understanding of how this character continues to bounce from life experience to life experience all while leaving a wake of confusion and complications. The only reason her friend Nina, hasn’t called her on her ditch and run the second it’s slightly mundane pattern is because she’s too bizarrely stunted herself.

Comic relief heavy lifting for Billie this week, but for a character empowered last week with her growth to become an adult, they sure cut the legs out from under her with the photo shoot shenanigans. Mick is clearly atoning for last season’s Fiesty mess with his role this season to be Billie’s support team – if only this could involve more actual character development for him.

The mother suffering mother guilt plot with Zara was good but poorly explored. Zara has always been a complex character and I’m surprised the show didn’t let her deal with the two options in life a little longer. Why couldn’t she actually enjoy her job (because I sense she would) but still be missing Alfie? I hate to put this on her, but why couldn't she be (incorrectly) ashamed about her desires completely changing. This was a strong, fiercely independent woman who wanted no support emotionally and was determined to have her life remain the same. Yes, that's a pipe dream and of course, she was always going to change, especially thanks to her relationship with Jimmy and that is a wonderful thing and a great story to tell. But can we actually see that growth in more detail and on screen instead of speeding through this decision, in what equated to 10 minutes on screen.

Mama Proudman gets nothing but a SHUT UP from me. Who cares what Darcy does, you should be happy, you’ll be able to crash his spa without awkward multiple lovers nakedness.

This is sadly, a particularly ranty recap from me, I’m sorry to say. Nina is the centre of the Offspring universe and when she’s off in this hyper eccentric zone, it drags the entire show down with it. Other characters have to heighten or lower to the extremes just to match it and I think this is a grave error. I enjoy the writing on Offspring from a unique episode standpoint, but what always seems to let it down is the commitment to the characters development and growth. Right now we seem to be aiming for a quota each episode of zany, hot sexy times, shirtless Matt Le Nevez and crazy Proudman hijinks. When Offspring got a two season order – I was hopefully this would mean more concentrated storytelling, a far stronger characterisation for everyone including secondary players like Martin Clegg – who is getting absolutely shafted this season. Sadly, it looks like Offspring is playing to its negatives and not positives and much like Patrick, I think I need a drink.

Sort your needy, whiny, erratic shit out Nina!

Positives:

Both Belle’s Diner (featured in the stupid Darcy, Cherie, Nina catch up) and Everleigh Bar (where Patrick and Little Intern had a drink and also the fantasy movie Nina watched on TV) were featured tonight. Belle’s Diner does the best fried chicken ever – like an awesome, gourmet KFC , or as if you were invited to a friend’s family’s home in Louisana for Thanksgiving. Do get the mashed potato and gravy with it – it’s comfort food at it’s cool inner city hipster best.

Afterwards, go upstairs to the Everleigh Bar and let their amazing cocktail staff create a drink for you based off what type of alcohol you normally drink. I did and the drink they served me – multiple times – was amazing.  Also, thanks to the 20’s feel, you’ll feel super fancy and cool but be warned, weekends are tricky to get tables in the evening and you might have to perch at the bar, which slightly lessens the fancy feel.