Dear Word Count Wednesday

And you thought I never write a post again and just vlog my days away. Well, truth be told, it was tempting but I need to keep at the keyboard, keep the fingers flowing and hope the juices spill into the story world.

Word Count Wednesday is going to be my weekly word count review on all fronts - a ledger of truth and honesty and maybe a tad more serious than the Vlog's. (Because people, I'm layered!).

The Proclaimed: 76,704 (Finished, pitching to agents)
The Proclaimed 2: 18,532 (one third into first draft, dragging my heels)
Tethered: 0 (ideas circling and desperate to get out, scribbled notes)
That Girl: 0 (early ideas, not sure if it's a full story yet)

Have I missed the boat? That's what is haunting my writing dreams at the moment. Because as the tables in the publishing world are tipping in all unknown directions and more and more people are offered alternative ways to publish and reach audience via quick methods, is my old school traditional approach holding me back or helping me get the best version of my book out there? And more so, am I just late to the party, one of the many also rans in a crowded field of excellent writers?

My books are firmly placed in the young adult genre and I know that's where I'm supposed to be, no doubt about it. I have supernatural elements in them, and a main girl who realises her destiny after living a normal life. So, what I'm facing right now is an extremely crowded market with more and more authors of note joining the ranks. I face derision because as I go out into the world hoping people will want to read my stuff, it's a big fat case of 'oh this type of stuff is so last year.'

Also, at the end of the day, at what point do you realise, like an auditioning American Idol contestant, while you're okay at what you do, you're not next level good. You're not fighting hard for the deal that you've told people about, that people now ask about good. You're not published good, just post a few fan fictions stories online and have good feedback from characters you never created.

What's annoying is all these thoughts roll around up top as I try to write Book 2 and my new book, and it's slowing me down but also stifling my writing a bit. The freedom with which I wrote last year was amazing, I wrote the story from my head to the page, no thoughts of people and audience and it spilled forth and in less than two months I had a finished first draft (sure, it needed work). Now, I as try to write the without wings first draft of Book 2, I find myself analysing and self-editing and basically stalling in the process when I know the thoughts are there to be written - ready to go.

So these are my messy, scatter brained thoughts on Word Count Wednesday - I'd love to know if anyone else is writing, how they're going, what challenges they're facing?

Dear Uphill

I knew it was going to be a battle heading into this thing. If writing a book and having it published was easy, then of course everyone would have done it. And I've heard countless authors talk about how hard it is to keep going and to push through the rejections and believe in your writing.

Of course, pride and ego are funny things and they get in the way of clear thinking. They let you believe, that you're the exception. The wild and amazing exception that means you'll get accepted by your first agent on Monday, sell a three book deal on Tuesday and by Wednesday be fending off countless festival invitations. It doesn't happen that way of course, and like every writer before me, I'm in that awful limbo stage. I've written a book, I'm sending it off to agents and I'm waiting for feedback from friends and family. I knew this stage was coming, I was warned - keep your head down, keep writing, don't let the silence and stillness fool you into stopping.

Admittedly, I've been fooled. You see, I was itching to get rolling onto second book and start writing the fantastic scenes I could see in my head and then the doubt fingers struck. Doubting that I was good enough, doubting that it was worth it, doubting that the characters in my head were compelling enough to have their story told. And so, when I'd actually come to sit down and type, the doubt fingers would affect my words. I'd second guess scenes as I wrote them, I'd self-edit as I was writing. My first draft of Proclaimed Bk 1 was free writing, just telling the story, not thinking about motivation, plotting and background etc. It came out at 40k words and then I went back and fixed it and then fixed it again and still now, am fixing certain parts. I need to get back to the free flying 40k words storytelling and not worry about the fixing as I go. I want to get back there because it's fun and that's what writing should be, fun and enjoyable.

Anyway, that's just an update on the book as it stands. I'd promised to be honest and forthright and so here we are.

Dear Writing The Next Phase

I promised to keep you up to date on the book/writing front and as promised an update. After another big re-draft which involved bringing a character back from the dead and major plot corrections, The Proclaimed is done (for the time being).

Right now, she's out with some people who haven't read her before. In a more frightening development, these people are people who review books every day, who see things in this exact field and whose judgement I've seen and trusted before and who are the key audience that I am writing for. Basically, if they hate it, we're in real trouble!

Despite that thought lingering over my head, I'm getting ready in the next week or so to start the contact the agent and beg for representation phase. Why is that the scariest thing so far - because really, they do hold the power. They are the gatekeepers to the publishers I would like to be published by and how I end up as author will be greatly influenced by their acceptance or rejection.

I did though, have a thought - what if in the cold dark night, if I had rejections from all corners of the globe, would it defeat me? I can happily say no. More than anything, I want to share my characters and my stories. I was watching the twitter feed today reacting to both Hunger Games movie teaser and Melbourne Writers' Festival sessions and I thought, man I wish I could have that. And not for the fame factor, I really want to debate Bennett's behaviour, to discuss Meg as a character and why the whole story is about the big question of good vs evil and what being a foot soilder in that fight means.

So, know this - some way, some how you will be able to read The Proclaimed. It might be in a book format, or something similar but it might on this very site and either way, I'll be more happy to share my creation with you!

PS Also, I've got a tonne of ideas for Book Two in The Proclaimed and almost more than Book One, I'm desperate to get it out and share it.

A Teaser Trailer for a Book Not Published

Just a little something to promote my yet to be published, yet to be signed book. Really, my cart is definitely before my horse, my egg before my chicken, my season finale before my premiere - you get the picture. But I love creating trailers and to actually do it for my own stuff was both horrifically scary and easy at the same time.

The Proclaimed Teaser from FlossAus on Vimeo.

Dear World, I Want to be an Author (For Reelz)

So, it's true, I want to be an author. For those that know me it shouldn't really come as a GIANT shock, because I've been telling stories all my life. From the Danielle Steele wannabe book Bryleigh (which I wrote when I was 10, lest you judge at my mimicking Danielle) to my more serious angst (which we don't talk of because it's rubbish), I've been writing stories for a long time.

But now, now I've gone and grown up and have a job and work hard and do all the 'right' things. Telling people I want to write stories all day, well that's just bananas.

Still, I spend most of my days around people who do that very thing for a living, and I've often thought, why not me, why can't I? And so after of years of procrastination and deliberating and making excuses, I've just spent the past three months writing and I mean writing HARD!

There has been actual drafts and people have actually read said drafts and not set fire to them and accused me of wasting paper, so we're off to a good start. Now comes the next step, going out there and getting published and not answering in a teeny tiny voice when people ask what I spent all weekend doing, with a wimpering 'writing.'

My words on paper - let's say ahhh

Because that is the biggest hurdle, believing in the next step and not being afraid to loudly and proudly say, I've written a book, I like it and yes, it is about a young adult girl drawn into the life of demon hunting unwillingly and no it's NOT Twilight but it is set in the world of monsters and demons and I think other people will like reading it, without being embarrassed.

Wish me good luck!