Last week: we meet Saint Adam (who I am still convinced is Jesus in disguise) and makes the promo so we know he is sticking around. We are also reminded of Patrick's super sad lost baby just before birth backstory.
We begin with Billie skyping away from the labour ward of hell known as Ash Cloud New Zealand. (At this stage, she could applying residency) Major foreshadowing that Nina is pregnant with Billie commenting that she lookes super tired and also has big boobs.
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| Dear Gossip Girl, I think I know someone who is knocked up |
The entire Proudman family is hard core for Nina to get it on/off with Saint Adam. Mama Proudman seems put off that people responded badly to her sleeping around and bringing Doc Dad to family functions - not insensitive at all. She then nails the hammer down hard in Nina's mental confidence coffin by telling her that the sex that conceived her was horrifically bad. We now know where the Brother gets his sheer and utter madness from. Doc Dad turns up just as Nina has declared that it's weird and uncomfortable how he is still trying to shag Mama Proudman. Papa Proudman is moments away so Offspring hilarity ensues with front door entries/back door escapes. It's a testament to Asher Keddie's acting skills that she sells the hilarity of climbing in and out the window as a cover story.
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| Just here to collect my Logie for physical comedy |
Darcy, who earns his character name back by being rational and sensible, requests Mama Proudman not see Doc Dad and bring him to family events because it's weird for everyone.
Back at the Proudman Family hospital, Nina and Patrick have a passive aggressive conversation in which they both pretend to not care but actually care desperately about each other.
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| "You don't have a $1.50, I'm dying for Salt'n'Vinegar' |
The Brother is UNO distracting the baby drama from Nurse Nasty and Nina has to push him away from being himself! Nurse Nasty also mentions to Nina, hands off her baby belly, she'd rather Doc Martin do it. Apparently Nina's stitch work isn't that great. Shockingly though, The Brother has become aware of Feisty Orange and Mick's connection but no one else seems to be.
In Feisty Orange and Mick land, she is passive aggressive goading him into touring. He attempts to raise the almost kiss and she is all, nothing happened while giving him sexy seductive eyes. Yeah nothing happening at all!
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| See how soft and pretty my hair is, pick me! |
Back at work, Nina gets a weirdness email from Patrick, declaring he wants her to back off and stop pretending their getting back together. On her way to confront him she meets Mrs Ex McBroody in the hallway. I know you should never discount fellas for previous marriages but Nina really hits the highs of returning ex-wife boyfriends.
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| I'm looking for the Chris Havel Memorial Balcony. |
Ex-wife reveals she is married and has kids and is just saying Hi whilst in town. Then hubbie turns up, and Patrick seconds later arrives and 'we're not together' politeness ensues. Patrick tries to blame the email snafu on misdirected email and really Patrick, we've all been there. Saint Adam phones in to offer a date and Nina, much like her mother, folds faster a deck of cards to a date she might not want to go on.
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| So this is the broody sexy first husband I'll always live in the shadow of? |
Mama Proudman basically has a date with Doc Dad in which she slams his sexual abilities to a bloody pulp and he decides not to run humilated but beg for another chance - using research and his independent sexy study as a bait.
Nina just before her date, receives an apology phone call for Patrick's sister re the email mixup but really, it's just making it worse. Nina then starts the date by almost being strangled to death by her scarves. Her dinner though with Saint Adam in the right amount of awkward and promising fella but in dual narrative is the Patrick date - which of course means Patrick shadows everything Nina does.
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| Dates with Jesus include water to wine dancing |
Patrick has a date with his ex wife and sister in which they brow beat him for basically being him. Fair call ladies. Pregnant ex-wife is very kind with her we use to be together but now I've moved on catch up. She does though present him with a really badly timed baby album of their dead son and he almost breaks down in the pub poor guy! Location wise, she could have at least waited til the carpark. However, she seems settled and not over it but at least dealing with it far more conductively than Patrick.
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| You wanna make me cry in front of hipster Melbournians? Bitch! |
Nurse Nasty is in labour and amazingly needs The Brother to lean on both physically and emotionally. The Brother basically guilt shames Nina into cheating biology and making the delivery work - I'm sorry Brother, you'll nee Saint Adam/Jesus to be there for a miracle. Cherie drops the bomb that she broke Doc Martin in sex acts that require him to now wear a neck brace - Cherie always finding a way to ruin Proudman family moments.
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| Is this an important Proudman moment? I'd like to ruin it with my sex life. |
In surgery, Nina gets to cutting and Nurse Nasty freaks out but is soothed and enjoys The Brother and his lameness. Billie arrives back from the Ash Cloud and in two seconds reminds me how much we've missed her and her cab bashing awesome.
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| BILLIE!!!!!!!!!!! |
The baby is born and isn't looking great but after a few tense moments, we get breathing and The Brother doesn't break my heart by having a dead baby. Patrick is extra relieved and is the bow that breaks his emotional wall? God damn I hope so.
Nina decompresses post surgery and Patrick consoles her. She admits that maybe she is going to date Adam and that they broke up through laziness and not trying hard to work on their relationship. She basically doesn't want to hurt anymore and Patrick the clam that he is shuts down especially when given the opportunity to express emotion.
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| Can you remember the words to my theme song, I'm Emotionally Shut Off? |
Nurse Nasty has a break down post op that is heartbreaking because she knows all the facts about her premature baby's chances. Patrick and Nurse Kym (who is totally AWESOME all series but really gets my love) sit with her and try to be there for her.
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| Who me? I'm being awesome every episode. |
Billie returns and it's truly a happy moment and it reminds me how much I would have cut bitches had Mick cheated with Feisty Orange. Billie brings a pressie for Baby Peanut and is awesome.
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| The one and only person you're pashing Mr Perfect! |
Nina returns home from nightmare day and Saint Adam is waiting with soup and his Jesus ways. Which of course after McBroody Patrick is just warm and inviting and friendly. The episode ends with Nina toasting new baby with Jesus and I'll say it again, FORESHADOWING Nina's pregnant! We've got three episodes left people, it's SO going to happen!
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| I insist! Let's bless this food. |
Next week sexy times return for Patrick and Nina and a triumphant return of the green sheets!
oH MY GOD YOU ARE SO QUICK AT THIS - HOLY SHIT!
ReplyDeleteOK well I AM STILL WATCHING THE EPISODE SO WILL COME BACK AND READ YOUR HILLARIOUS STUFF.
I AM SO YUKKED ABOUT THE HIPPIE GUY, AND I WONDER IF ANYONE ACTUALLY THINKS HE IS BETTER OR EVEN EQUAL TO PATRICK. GOD, HE IS SUCH A HUNK OF MOODY MAN ISLAND, LOL. I NORMALLY WOULD THINK PFFT, TOO MUCH HARD WORK, BUT IN HIS CASE, I THINK I WOULD BOTHER. YEP, FOR SURE. LOL XX
OK ITS BACK ON (IM UP TO THE BIRTH SCENE) I TAPE IT - OH JIMMY SHOULD COME THRU FOR HER HERE... OK BYE!
GOD PATRICK AND NINA DELIVERING.. THIS COULD BE IT!!! THE REUNION, ENDORPHIN STYLE. P.S I BET HER MUM GOT A GOOD SHAG, I THINK FROM DR NOONAN.
ReplyDeleteOMG BILLIES HOME!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePHEW THE BABY BIRTH CURSE ELUDED THE BABY. NOT BLUE! BILLIE IS MY FAV CHARACTER, I ACTUALLY PETIONED THE WRITERS TO BRING HER BACK XX OK BACK ON - OOOH NINA AND PATRICK POST BABY - HERE WE GO!!!!
ReplyDeleteWOW, JUST GOT INTO TROUBLE FOR MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE, AS I WAS ALREADY CRYING AND THEN I SAW NEXT WEEKS, AND THEY KISS & BED AND WHO CARES ABOUT THE FELLA WITH THE SOUP - THE VOICEOVER SAYS "BUT SHE FORGOT SHE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE" UM, SOUP AINT SEX. UNLESS THIS HAPPENS, AFTER SOUP - NOOO. PATRICK WONT MIND, JUST FLICK HIM LIKE A FLEA, I SAY. X I FEEL BAD FOR THE ACTOR THAT PLAYS SECOND FIDDLER, SO I HAVE HELD BACK ON FORUMS AND STUFF FROM SAYING HE IS UGLY AND NO MATCH FOR LORD PATTY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY STYLE HIM, AND LAY ON LEATHER BRACELETS AND TORN HIPSTER FREE TRADE CLOTHES.
ReplyDeleteAHHH, MY WORLD IS SPINNING AGAIN, I AM CONFIDENT LITTLE FIDDLE WONT BE A DEALBREAKER.
NOW, I READ THE FIRST LINE OF YOUR POST, INTERESTING ABOUT THE PREGNANCY, BUT I THINK YOUR OUT ON A LIMB THERE, I THINK WE WOULD HAVE SEEN FEINTING OR MORNING SICKNESS OR HEARD A GLOW COMMENT. IT WOULD CHANGE NINAS CHARACTER TOO MUCH TO HAVE A BABY, THEY WILL SAVE THAT FOR THE LAST SEASON WHEN THEY NEED TO PULL THE BIG GUNS, LIKE WEDDINGS AND BABIES. JIMMYS BABY FILLS THE NICHE NICELY FOR NOW - AGREED?
Ok I have read your entire review now - how funny that we basically marvel at the same things, especially billie love (and I love all the bits you do too)
ReplyDeleteI will allow you the point that we will need a finale carrot - but really all the kids having babies but not billie? That's a rough call, but not unfathomable. I feel as a fellow fan I must put forward my interpretation of the soup toast to a new baby and i think you will agree- basically they are speaking about them, the growing attraction is like a new baby, a new start for everyone - you love birth of a baby and you also love falling for someone, and I guess the old baby is patricks one, which ultimately haunted their relationship and broke them apart. So, he is kinda passively agressively suggesting "new begginings" and she is kinda rebound brainwashingly agreeing but you can tell she is trying to firm herself up for it, and forget the old baby.
I just dont think they would make him a part of such foreshadowing, I hope his character is neatly deleted off the iphone of doom asap. If you stand with your baby idea, then lets have a fun bet, I cannot see Nina having a baby thats sidelined, and they both work, so the invisable baby thing will not sit well with the shows credibility, most people hate invisible baby syndrome. Case in point - sherees baby.
Now we have their baby, it would be rude to make a bet if it lives, but your arguement may reside in the premmie baby dying, so then they will need the PR of some happy news of a birth.
I would predict billie for sure but fiesty orange will be her storyline for a bit (i hope!) I totally want Billie to put her in her place, and be confident, but I really think the fact that she is a singer may intimidate her a little deep down, as she has always wanted Mick to be happy in his career, and no doubt I forsee a situation in where he is forced to choose. Ok, that can be my bet, it may even be tour country whilst billie is pregnant or stay home - you seem to think Mr Perfect will choose Billy. I think so too, but not after at least a fiesty makeout situation, sorry to say.
It's gonna happen, and omg do you think her son is terribly wierd and unlikeable, like what is with him?
Ok sorry for comandeering your blog, but it seems no one comments on here and they should, the web presence for Offspring is so lame - there is no decent place for discussion, yet assorted recaps are done by the odd blogger or two, but thats it. I would not normally be so animated about it, it scares people lol, but your writing and your pictures ARE SO FUNNY! So, you lured me into commenting, although I was on the hunt for a place as I said I wanted to demand to know about Billies return date, I felt insulted with that stupid ash cloud excuse, poor writing from a show that wants to be the best, and smartest showpony in the room.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could watch the show together with more fans, but I have to ask - do you publish these recaps for paid work? If not - why?
They are so good, I would almost rely on them if by some reason I would miss an episode, and that is a big compliment. I love your pics, and I am already thinking "fiesty orange" is her name. I am quite curious about her story angle because I have the view that pop culture shows have to be inline with mainstyle beliefs, but that good writers, know how to build up characters likeability, to tear it down for conflict, and then build up again. Do you know what I mean? You speak of foreshadowing so I gather you like analysing the writing too, (I am a writer myself) My point is, how you feel about Mr Perfect, is a product of this - I mean, he did sleep with Nina, but then they lost a baby and he had a dog die and then he was all, your crazy but damn, I love crazy!
So - do you think they will have him cheat - or do you think they think no we cant risk it.
Hence on Packed to the Rafters - I dont watch it, but I noted all the ads saying "The Kiss"
obviously "The Shag" would have been too alienating, as that show revolves around two madly in love married people.
So, will we get just a make out session, a kiss and boob touch interruptus (I...can't do this) or a drunk sex interlude or worst of all - the ongoing affair. I am interested in what you would accept, and still think he was Mr Perfect.
I think they have already done kiss interuptus, but it was wierd he brought it up - dont you think? It makes me think maybe it wont go any further, which is kinda boring. LOL. I just hope you dont get too heart broken, cos the foreshadowing has been so heavy but the test is will it continue now billie is back.
Ok one more thing, I am not sure of this but did they actually show Patricks "non date" and Nina and second fiddle having a "non date" IN THE SAME CAFE. I swear, I saw him peering over at them.
ReplyDeleteIf so, thats just utter bullshit. But I am hoping it was a split scene like you said, but I am sure we get a long shot of nina and beardo as if its from his perspective, as it was through plants, and it could be a dual cafe thing. Ungh.