Title: Glimpses of Everything and Nothing - Part 4/7
Author: Finn AUS
Rating: PG-13 (suggestive comments)
Spoiler Info: Vaguely placed somewhere in Season Seven NO SPOILERS FOR THE COLD
Disclaimer: WB, NBC, Aaron Sorkin are the masterminds, John Wells is the minor-mind who had the good fortune to co-produce. I have no money, and even less with the US conversion rate so really not worth it.
Archiving permission: Awesome, please let me know so I can go look!
Summary: After a Republican makes suggestions about Donna and Josh's relationship in an attempt to derail the campaign, it forces them both to face the real truth.
Author Note 1: Firstly again, cause she's just the best, Caz for helping the suggestive be really suggestive!
A/N 2: A massive thanks to all those who sent feedback, and huge apologies for dragging it out, I promise to write faster (blame my boss - actually don't - she'll tell me to get back to work). For all those holding out for action, hang in there, seriously, it's coming.
Feedback: Love it, crave it, need it, beg it - it's my drug of choice
Donna eased away from her parking space, unable to erase the smile from her face. She’d managed to be quite restrained in front of Lou and the Congressman, delivering the proposed statements and agreeing to meet the next morning to map out a more comprehensive strategy. She’d bitten her lip once or twice on the elevator ride with other staffers to hide the smirk, and waved goodbye with a suitable amount of weariness. However, once in the safety of her car, she broke out into a cheek aching, heart soaring smile.
Donna had been floored tonight in so many ways. Firstly by the snotty congressman alleging on a late night political show that her relationship with Josh was unprofessional and that her qualifications were lacking. She’d flushed with embarrassment when reading the transcript, but then her anger had swelled and propelled her into action. Showing the transcript to Lou, Donna avoided her boss’s gaze when she suggested not including it in Josh’s daily press pack. Lou had agreed with her, but unfortunately, he had overheard a volunteer in the press office discussing the interview and had demanded to see a transcript.
Reluctantly Donna had handed over her well thumbed copy and watched nervously as his eyes grew wider the more he read. Without saying a word, Josh had spun around, grabbed his jacket and raced from the office, a murderous expression on his face.
Donna had called after him repeatedly but he was gone before either she or Lou could stop him. The next hour was spent planning a defence but inwardly she’d spent every second wondering where Josh was and what he was doing. She was pretty sure he’d gone to Vinnick’s offices but what the result would be, she had no idea. Her breath caught in her throat when he returned, and she’d cursed herself – both for noticing how distressed he’d seemed and then for wanting to do something, anything to help make it better. Her natural inclination, it seemed, was still to be ‘Donna the Assistant’; always… next challenge. But she quickly snapped herself out of it, reminding herself that that wasn’t her job any more.
Then came the indignity of having the campaign staff calmly discuss how best to deal with the fact that ‘half of Washington’ believed they were sleeping together! And if that hadn’t been bad enough, knowing that the Congressman had heard and then contributed to the discussion was Donna’s worst professional nightmare come true! But she held it all together and she was proud of her performance in that boardroom just now. In the past, she would have most likely flushed a deep shade of crimson and fled the room in an embarrassment. But that wasn’t who she was anymore – she’d held her ground, defended her position; and at one point in her argument she could have sworn she’d seen pride on Josh’s face as he’d grinned at her – something he hadn’t done in a long while. The warm feeling that spread through her at that, together with her own pride in how she had handled the situation had buoyed her up, made her feel good about herself in a way she’d not felt for quite some time.
But it was the conversation which had followed that was still baffling Donna. Josh had felt the same way? In her mind, she replayed him telling her that he might not have been able to resist her and she felt an irrepressible grin spreading across her face. Unbelievably all this time, he had wanted her as much as she’d wanted him, perhaps even more, if that were possible, and she couldn’t help but feel elated.
But despite that there was a part of her that was angry that he hadn’t allowed her to have any say in the matter and had made the decision on his own. That was typical Josh, though – he was the most single minded man Donna knew. He got an idea into his head and there was no stopping him, which of course, had landed him in plenty of trouble in the past. He might be able to walk into a room full of angry Congressmen and be five steps ahead of all of them… he may have the cutest butt in professional politics and dimples to die for – but put him in front of a woman he liked and he was at a loss. Donna shook her head gently, thinking of the times she’d encouraged him to date other women – she was almost as much of an idiot as he was, it seemed.
Donna yawned, realising she was almost home. Although driving through the empty streets had its advantages, she still would have preferred a bit of traffic to arriving home after 2.30am. Sitting patiently at a red light, she realised there was something nagging at the back of mind; something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. As the light finally changed, a sense of dread was sneaking slowly through her, an empty feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. When the actual thought finally surfaced, it hit her like a slap and almost winded her.
Josh had said he had loved her – not that he did love her. The entire conversation replayed in her head at warp speed and she realised that not once had either of them spoken in the present tense! Inhaling sharply, Donna’s smile evaporated. Whilst she and Josh had certainly begun to mend their friendship tonight, they’d not discussed their… feelings for one another beyond saying that they’d loved each other - once. Nothing had been said regarding any progression on that front and she realised with dismay that she was almost back at the beginning. Almost – because now, although she was in exactly the same place, it seemed to her as though Josh may have moved on. The thoughts swam in her head, her fatigue not helping to clear this new and depressing fog.
Arriving at her building, Donna was thankful to see that there was a parking space nearby, because between the exhaustion and disappointment she was now feeling, she didn’t know how far her legs were going to be able to carry her.
After managing to haul herself up the flight of stairs and into her apartment, she flopped onto the sofa for a moment and stared into space. She couldn’t actually believe it, the night had been so full of revelations and now…now she was left with the same aching pain that had become so familiar over the years.
Donna felt like curling up on the couch and crying - another familiar impulse from those times when things had become too much for her. She hadn’t done it often – she’d not allowed herself to do that, but there had been times – maybe Josh had had a really bad day and had taken some of it out on her, or perhaps the opposite – he’d been particularly nice to her, and she’d felt so ridiculously pleased about it that she’d berated herself for being so infatuated with him. But no – not now. She wasn’t going to cry over him again. If he could move on, so could she. Instead, she straightened up, blinked her eyes and attempted to focus on the first thing she had to do - sleep. Sleep would be her refuge for tonight and tomorrow she would find another. She’d being doing it for nine years, she could do it again.
She looked down at her cell phone charging in its cradle and noticed there were five new messages. Press calls asking for a comment, she assumed. The exhausted side of her brain begged her not to check them but the inquisitive side always won that battle and she dialled her voicemail.
‘Donna, Tom Hartman for the Miami Herald, wanting a quote on the allegations made tonight by Congressman-’ She pressed five firmly, saving that message for the morning. Another two calls were from journalists already hunting for a statement from Congressman Santos about her and Josh and like the first, they were saved for the morning. The next message came as somewhat of a surprise.
‘Donna, it’s CJ. Margaret just passed along the transcript and I’m so sorry. Give me a call anytime if there’s anything I can do to help. The President will most likely get this in the morning but we’re probably just going to refer back to you. You know I’d love for him to go on record, but it’s not his business and the press know that. Don’t forget, if you need to, call me.’
Donna sighed, happy to receive the call from CJ but realising that somewhere down the line, the President was going to have a conversation with someone about the status of ‘Donna and Josh’, and Donna was mortified. The final message was another pleasant surprise.
‘Donna? It’s Sam. I’ve just seen the interview, and I’m appalled. I wanted to let you know that I’m definitely thinking of you, and you’ve got plenty of legal options against this guy. Please call me and we can talk; remember we’re all proud of you and how far you’ve come – especially Josh,’ Donna smiled.
The shrill ring of her cell interrupted and despite her plummeting spirits she smiled again when she saw the name on the caller ID.
‘Hi,’ she answered brightly, reminding herself, moving on, I’m moving on.
‘Hey, how ya doing?’ She wondered why Josh would be calling her now when they’d only parted half an hour earlier.
‘Not bad, you okay?’
‘I… yeah, I’m … look…’
‘What do you need, Josh?’ Donna knew she was being short with him but she couldn’t help it.
‘Well, there is something.’ Despite her fatigue she could hear the nervousness underneath the bravado.
‘And that is?’ She was tired and her abruptness prompted a tense silence – she realised she was drumming her fingers impatiently on the table as she waited for him to answer.
‘I was… thinking… well, wondering actually - whether you think we should re-word the thing?’
‘Why?’ Donna knew she was whining – something else she’d learned from him, she thought irritably.
‘Well, it struck me that in our recent conversation both of us admitted to … having had feelings of a certain nature for the other.’ Donna walked aimlessly around her lounge room, the fact that he was speaking in the past tense not escaping her.
‘And?’
‘Well…I, um…you said you’d ‘spent’ nine years being in love with me,’ as Josh’s tone changed from good-humored to a husky whisper, Donna’s mind raced ahead, wondering if he’d come to the same conclusions she had and was going to use them as an escape route. They were both silent for a moment, Donna steadfastly refusing to help him break her heart again, wordlessly demanding that he have the courage to finish it himself, ‘I…I just wanted you to know that it’s not past tense for me.’ Donna stopped in her tracks, jolted into stillness.
‘Wha…’ she couldn’t finish the sentence.
‘Are you okay?’ Josh sounded panicked. ‘Listen, I’m sorry it’s not-’
‘Josh,’ she broke back in, ‘it’s fine, I just …wasn’t expecting that.’
‘Right,’ he sound dejected.
‘No, not like that!’
‘It’s fine, look I’ve got to go-’ he said, rapidly trying to end the conversation.
‘Josh!’ Donna urged, ‘it’s not past tense for me either.’ She smiled to herself hesitantly.
It was his turn to be shocked into silence. After a moment, she heard him release a breath. ‘Really?’
‘Really,’ she affirmed.
‘Kay.’ Donna would bet her life savings that he had a huge smirk plastered across his face right now. She could picture him, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, hair going in all directions, completely unable to keep still – and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to be there with him. Realising that she really ought to say something, Donna shook her head gently, pulling herself out of her trance.
‘The thing?’ she queried.
‘Yeah…’
‘You’re right - I think we’re going to have to change it.’ As she agreed with him, she was sure she could hear a smirk at the other end of the line.
‘That’s not all we’re going to have to change,’ he said suggestively, and oh God, she was wide awake now because that tone of voice had just sent what felt like a bolt of lightning through her.
‘Joshua…’ she warned, but she couldn’t help dropping her voice to what she hoped was a sexy level – she had always been able to match Josh in the flirting department – and was gratified to hear his voice catch as he spoke.
‘You could always change into that old school uniform,’ he drawled and she had to sit down, right now. Flopping down onto the sofa, Donna kicked off her shoes and swung her legs up under her. Now she was focused and it was game on.
‘Oh, you’re going to have to work a little harder for that my friend!’
‘Would I need to work? Have to work?’
Donna grinned unable to believe the turn the conversation had taken. Earlier she’d been ready to cry herself to sleep and here she was, going toe to toe in the flirting stakes with Josh Lyman.
‘Well, I do have certain standards, Josh… but I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with something,’ she whispered. A strangled groan came down the line followed by a moment’s silence - then Josh burst out laughing. Donna could barely remember the last time she’d heard him laugh and it made her incredibly happy to hear it again.
‘You crack me up,’ he chuckled warmly and Donna again wished she could see his smile.
‘Well, somebody told me once that my sense of humour was like a high wire act.’ He snorted.
‘Kay,’ she could tell he was scrubbing his hand across his face. ‘You need to get some sleep. Don’t forget to call Lou in the morning.’
‘Why?’
‘To tell her to hold off on putting out that statement until we’ve been able to make some changes. We can’t really issue a flat-out denial that there’s anything between us now, can we?’
‘Why? That’s what they’re trawling for. A denial might help kill it.’
‘Yeah, but I’m re-evaluating my denial.’ The playful tone was back.
‘Josh, as much as I’d like to go with that, professionally it’s not going to cut it,’ Donna sighed.
‘Know what? I don’t care. I’m not suggesting we take out an ad in the Post, but I’m not giving you up. ‘Kay?'
‘Joooosh,’ she attempted to scold him.
‘Donnatella,’ he said mischievously, ‘after everything we said tonight, I’m thinking an ‘entanglement’ isn’t such a bad idea.’
‘Really?’ She arched an eyebrow.
‘Really.’
‘OK.’
Continue on to Part 5
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