Dear Sex and the City 2

I’m sure I won’t be the first or the last, or even the most witty or cinematically correct review but I still need to talk with you. Others have touched on the absurdity of you as a film, the complete religious intolerance the moment the you leave New York and even before that and many other troubling aspects. Mine however is more personal. See you took these characters, who have for a modern generation of women been a touchstone, and a mirror (of a highly stylized nature) to our own lives and turned them into materialistic, selfish, intolerant, ignorant bitches.

Sex and the City TV series characters were as follows:

Carrie: Positive champion of love, and searching for it through her own failings as well as her suitors. Accepting the differences of a relationship but never comprising on the key element of respect and love.
Miranda: Cynical but soft inside career woman balancing her A type personality in work and play and finding friends accept you no matter who you are.
Charlotte: Prim and proper New Yorker desperate to find ‘the one’ but instead finds a soulmate and an actual relationship.
Samantha: Sexy and determined woman, who had sex drive and ambition and wasn’t afraid to show it but found in the end, that sex drive can also exists a relationship and often the two work better together.

Sex and the City 2 Movie Characters:

Carrie: Materialistic perfectionist who once finished decorating, decides the marriage isn’t going her way because her beloved watches Deadliest Catch instead of her undressing into her PJ’s and runs away to a foreign land to shamelessly flirt with her ex and ignore friends needs and advice.
Miranda: Doesn’t really exists except to give cultural background and tid bits, and shout various catchphrases and be a part of the one good scene with Charlotte about being a mother. There’s something about work and a nasty, nasty man but it all gets too hard so she quits – you’d be sad if you actually ever saw her really care about anything other than the next plot driven Arabic tidbit.
Charlotte: Completely paranoid wannabe stepford bride, who based solely on another woman’s looks decides her husband is a cheater waiting to happen. Also, continues her movie character self of being the physical joke by doing over the top stupid things in a foreign country as if she’s never left America. One good scene with Miranda about how tiring motherhood can be, is ruined by the nanny being a lesiban so that’s okay, everything is fine now.
Samantha: The greatest crime to a character, Samantha becomes the equivalent of Stifler in American Pie. A 13 year old who spends the entire time either having sex, talking about sex, using the worst puns for sex or freeloading. Apparently in this world, Season 6 for SATC never happened.

You, you damn movie, have taken these characters I loved so much and turned them into jokes. Into movie ‘women’ whose real cares are resolved in 146 mins and happy endings means sex on a hummer at the beach without those damn religious zealots and their need for decency or a diamond ring to say you are punished for being emotionally demanding and an uber naggy bitch wife.